What if it's cancer?

I've been known to play "google-a-disease" fromtime to time.  You might too if you werein my shoes.  My mother died at age 56from stomach cancer (originally diagnosed at age 14), her mother died at age 57from ovarian cancer and her mother's sister died at age 57 from uterinecancer.  My maternal great grandmotheralso died of some kind of female cancer but I've lost track... According tothese odds, I'm in the golden years of my life. That's one of the reasons I'mwalking in Relay For Life this June.

A few months ago I started having strange symptoms... I'llspare you the details.  I went to mydoctor and she said it was likely stress from the fundraiser I had just beenworking on.  I absolutely loved my last fundraiser and I have experienced episodes of far greater stress and have beenjust fine.  She ran blood work, did sometests and everything was fine.  Then thenext month rolled around and more symptoms. I went back in for follow-up last Tuesday and the doctor started to getworried.  She performed a uterinebiopsy... a blast let me tell ya, and said it would be up to a week before Iknew the results.

A week?!  Wow... I didnot know how I'd get through that.  Sheoffered up a bottle of xanex which I quickly accepted.  I couldn't stop thinking about my husband and my kids.  My kids are 6 and 8... nowhere near raised.  It's them that Iworried about.

My mind started racing and my fingers flew as I sped throughevery internet site out there.  I learnedone of the first places uterine cancer spreads is to the lungs.  Yikes... I had pleurisy this past January...could it be?  Then God spoke to me andsaid to get off the internet and into His Word. To stop talking to people that "knew it all" and to talk toHim.  I immediately turned to the book ofJonah and started working on my current Bible study.  I got a pencil and started to write.  Here's what came to me:

Slow Down! Listen.  Study the Word.  Simplify. Calm Down.  Limit the noise andinput in my life.  Serve as  Christian example in everything I do whetherby faith, action or Word... a tall order I know!  I continued to read and came across a pieceof scripture I've never read before.

2 Corinthians 12:9

"... My grace is sufficient for you, for my power ismade perfect in weakness.  There for, Iwill boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power mayrest in me.  That is why, for Christ'ssake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutors, indifficulties.  For when I am weak, then Iam strong."

It's easy to praise God during the good times.  Do you praise him the bad times too?  Do you see a storm approaching in your lifeand wonder what great purpose God has in store or do you get on a boat and sailas far away as you can?  We may neverknow why we face the difficulties we do. It still leaves me completely speechless when I see a baby on chemo,when I see marriages end, when I find out a loved one is seriously sick, whenthings like 9-11 happen or why I had to lose my mother at such a youngage.  Nothing that we can imagine makesany of this okay... our thoughts are not His:

Isaiah 55:8 ""For my thoughts are not yourthoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD."

As I read the story of Jonah, it was incredible to readabout the pagans that turned into believers when Jonah told them to throw himinto the ocean because God's storm was for Jonah and not them.  They told Jonah to pray to his God so theirlives might be spared.

Who is watching you?  What are you going through right now?  Are youhandling it with grace or are you running scared?  Are you listening to God... slowing down,studying and waiting?  Are youconsidering those around you or just yourself?

Facing a death, a serious illness, injury or other difficulttime may cause you to turn inward and think of only yourself.  It's natural and not something to feel guiltyabout.  However, think for a moment aboutthose that love you.  Those that supportyou.  Have you thanked them?  Have you dropped a note in the mail to tellthem how much they mean to you?  Have youresponded to the emails and phone calls of those reaching out to you?  Are you concerned with their well being orjust your own?  Are you taking more thanyou're giving?  Are you acting in a waythat you want to be remembered, living or not? 

What will you do today thatwill shape the way you are remembered?

This experience was scary and stressful.  I am incredibly grateful that it's over andthat I am healthy.  Those that reachedout to me and offered up their prayers mean the world to me.  Thank you!