Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Here I am, naked, broke, hungry and exhausted... but you matter!

On any given lunch break, I'll sit and scroll through facebook to see adorable pictures of my friend's kids.  I love facebook because in some shallow way, I have a clue as to what's happening in my friends' lives near and far.  It's sad... I'll admit it but I call it like I see it so there you have it.  Lately, I've been seeing a lot of posts that say something like:







It's 8:30 on a Tuesday night and I just had to turn down a weekend away with a dear college buddy for her very fun birthday party in Portland.  She was gracious and understood and for that I'm very grateful.  Missing her party on the other hand?  I'm so disappointed but... honestly... I'm really relieved too.  With one weekend left before Thanksgiving, I'm totally and completely overwhelmed.

I'm past my days of trying to create a meal that Ina Garten would brag about.  I'm done with having the house that Martha Stewart would showcase.  To be clear, I'm not talking about a prison cell.  I want my Thanksgiving to be fun, laid back and about family.  That said, I'd like the house to be warm, welcoming and clean.

I just spent 4 hours doing homework with my son.  His teacher is awesome... seriously awesome so don't go blaming him for my son's homework.  My daughter, at least another hour of homework... her teacher is wonderful too.  The dishes are piled to the ceiling, my laundry is almost caught up... believe it or not, my floors are covered in inches of dog hair and I'm pretty sure if Haz-Mat showed up, we'd be kicked out of our home.  My bills aren't paid, I haven't talked to many of my best friends in days and I had to cut my evening conversation with my dad short by quite a few minutes.  My husband hasn't seen much of me today and I just got a notice from my homeowner's association telling me I get to "donate" $50 to them because I had a patch of ivy growing my in my front yard that wasn't to code.  I worked all day in a job that I love and I really don't have many outside interests at the moment except Bible study.  You can imagine how seeing posts like these on facebook makes me stay up until the wee hours of the morning wondering if my friends feel this way.  Really??? I know at least 2 of them did because they aren't in my life anymore.

These messages are a bunch of garbage.  Do you deserve to be a priority? Yes!  Do you deserve love, affection, attention and whatever else your love language is?  Yes!  If your good friend isn't showing you this does it mean she/he doesn't love you with all of their heart?

I'm sorry.  I'm so very sorry.  I have said these same things, questioned friendships and had many conversations with God and my friends about whether or not I'm a priority in someone's life.  God answered with humility.  God showed me that there are so many hours in a day and far more tasks to accomplish.  Could I go to Portland this weekend? Perhaps.  I'd show up at my friend's party naked because I didn't have my clothes washed.  I'd be a complete wreck because the bills wouldn't be paid and I'd likely be facing collection calls while I was there.  My family would be hungry because there wouldn't be any food in the house... I'm lying here.  My husband would cover this one.  My husband... oh year, that guy that I share a house with that makes sure my kids are fed and that we have a roof over our head.  I should probably make time for him this weekend too.  My dear friends and loved ones, I write this for you.  I love you and I will spend time with you when I'm once again clothed and sane.





Thursday, August 27, 2015

Dear Bank of America,
Today was a difficult day. I watched from above as my daughter remembered my death, 11 years ago to the day. She recalled losing me to a long battle with cancer. She grieved my loss and worked with her father to take care of arrangements.

My husband worked for you for over 40 years. He was loved by his co-workers and quite well known within the SeaFirst/ Bank of America community. When he and my daughter sat down in your Kirkland, WA branch to close out my account, they were surrounded by many longtime friends and colleagues. They provided my death certificate and closed all of my accounts.

I’m sure you can understand my frustration and confusion when I tell you that my daughter, *****, receives a credit card application from your bank at least twice a year. What’s odd is that I never even lived in her home. The address you send the applications to didn’t even exist 11 years ago when I made my move to heaven. *** has called the bank several times to get this stopped but she hasn’t had success. She has been told that she needs to furnish a death certificate and prove my death. Didn’t she already do that?

I do not need a credit card in heaven. I have everything I need and more. What I do need is for you to stop sending these painful reminders of my absence. I don’t need you to bother my daughter or my husband anymore by telling them this problem is theirs to solve.
Thank you ahead of time for taking care of this. I will appreciate a mailed response from this letter to my daughter,**** at the address indicated.


Thankfully,










*****
C/O ****