Is God enough?

"Ain't Nothing Gonna Break My Stride.... oh no.. .I've got to keep on moving..."

I have this obsession with fundraising.  I can't get enough of it.  In fact, when I'm not on a big fundraising project, I become somewhat depressed.  Last year, June hit and I don't think I really got dressed and left the house for 2 weeks.  A month later, it was auction and golf tournament time so I was happy again. 

I recently had the honor and privilege of chairing Auburn Young Life's "A Reason to Dance."  This was by far the most fun I've ever had in my fundraising career.  We had 5 couples learn to dance thanks in part to a generous donation from Arthur Murray Dance of Federal Way.  Those couples danced in front of an audience of 500 people who sat enjoying their dinners served by Green River Community College.  My face hurt by the end of the night because I couldn't stop smiling as the night unfolded.  It was an absolute blast and so inspiring to hear about the way Young Life has changed the lives of so many.  It also didn't hurt that we exceeded our fundraising goal by 26%!

I'm currently working on small parts of many fundraisers but I started to go into my funk again.  I missed the excitement and energy behind A Reason to Dance and I couldn't quite come down from it.  With this on my heart, I took a seat at church this weekend and waited to hear about the mission trip our youth ministry just returned from.

I heard bits and pieces about the life changing experiences from the trip and was touched to think that my kids might experience this too.  The sermon talked about where your heart is.  I was reassured as I considered the fundraisers I've been working on.  They served God... they brought teens to God.  I had a very loving, supportive and Christian group of women encouraging and counseling me the entire time.  It was and is "all good."  I have finally learned to serve selflessly. 

BUT...

Pastor Bodwell started talking about how he is struggling to find contentment after his mission trip.  WHAT?  A pastor isn't content?  He told that the work that went into the fundraising, the planning and the actual mission itself were like his mountain to climb.  He climbed the mountain, had an incredible view and now what?  Where is his next mountain?   Of course he prayed about this and what he heard spoke straight to my heart.

"Are you content with just being with God?  Is God enough?  Or, do you have to constantly climb mountains and seek accomplishments to be fulfilled?"

WHAM!!!!  My breath became lodged in my throat as I asked myself this same question.  Pastor Bodwell was feeling the same thing I was.  There is no question his heart has been in the right place and he too is learning to "just be."  Wow! 

This is when I got a swift nudge to my ribs from the wise one sitting next to me.  The sermon continued.

Steve went on to discuss unrealistic expectations.  When we put our hopes and dreams into things and people, we are disappointed and let down every time.  It's not because these relationships aren't wonderful.  It's not because these people aren't deserving of our love... it's because no single person, possession, fundraiser, event or job can consistently be everything all the time.  Only God can answer these needs.  You've heard this before right?  Me too.  I started to sit back in my chair and passively listen.  Then I received another WHAM!!!

I can't remember his exact words so I won't quote him but Pastor Bodwell asked if I had unrealistic expectations of my kids.  Who me?  Of course not.  Wait a minute....

Who do I yell at when the house is a wreck?  After all, when I was younger I imagined a pristine house like my mother had.  I knew my children would get along as well as the two I routinely babysat and my marriage would be awesome.  Well...I've got the marriage part.  I have two kids that are great.  They are funny, loving, smart, wise beyond their years and everything I wanted and more... except they're slobs.... and they fight.... constantly.  I've just described most 6 and 8-year-olds... haven't I?  Yet I hold them to the standard I created in my mind and I'm consistently frustrated when they don't measure up to it.  Not their problem apparently.  It's also not their problem that I expected them to behave and keep their voices to an acceptable volume... that too is my problem. 

What unrealistic expectations do you place on others and on yourself? 

Who do you hold accountable for your happiness? 

Are you content? 

Is God enough? 

Please check from this Sunday's sermon to be posted on line at

http://www.mvpc.net/resources/sermons.html

Scared in Seattle

You hear about it all the time but never think it's anyone you know.  You may have experienced it yourself and made excuses or taken the blame.  You may be at the end of your rope and looking for a place to run.

• Domestic Violence plagues women of all races, ages, beliefs and classes.  It is not just a problem between a man and woman, it's every one's problem.  
• About 1 in 3 American women have been physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. (Commonwealth Fund, Health Concerns Across a Woman's Lifespan: the Commonwealth Fund 1998 Survey of Women's Health, 1999)
• Many women do not leave.  Fear of being found, not having a place to go, lacking the financial or medical resources or denial are just some of the reasons why women stay or return to their abusers
• 40% to 60% of men who abuse women also abuse children. (American Psychological Association, Violence and the Family, 1996)  If you are a mother, for no other reason than for the safety of your children, get out!

I am heartbroken as I read these statistics and search for answers for a friend.  I am also amazed to learn of the numerous resources in the greater Seattle area that provide help in numerous areas.  Several organizations are able to offer:

• Safe Houses
• Legal Aid, filing protection orders, divorces and claiming property
• Mental Health Counseling
• Substance Abuse Programs
• Medical Services
• Affordable Housing options (subsidizes housing)
• Childcare
• Employment resources

If you live in Western Washington and need help, or know someone that does, please visit the following links for help.

http://edvp.org/GetHelp/default.aspx

http://newbegin.org/

http://www.scn.org/crisis/shelters.html#women

http://www.dawnonline.org/get-help/default.htm

http://www.seattle.gov/law/domestic_violence/community_resources.htm#SHELTERS

If you know someone that needs help, please remember these important things.

1. Do not put yourself in jeopardy.  Meet your friend at a safe location away from her abuser.
2. If you or your friend are in danger, immediately call 911
3. If your friend's abuser knows where you live, do not bring her home.  Put her in a hotel or a friend's house until you are able to find a safe house.
4. Your friend may try to cover her abuse or make excuses.  No one deserves to be abused... ever!  Keep trying and don't give up.
5. Providing your friend with a go phone might just save her life.
6. Do not issue ultimatums.  Set proper boundaries but let her know that you will always be her link to safety if she decides to take you up on it. The book "Boundaries," by Townsend is very helpful when you find yourself having to make difficult choices regarding loved ones. 
7. Do not try to handle this on your own.  The psychology behind battered women is complex and deserves professional help.  Refer your friend to professionals and make sure you have the help and support you need as well.  

Good luck and God Bless!

Comfort Food

It can be a helpless feeling to hear a loved one has been diagnosed with something terrible.  Saying, "Let me know if you need anything at all," often sounds like a hollow gesture and doesn't convey how badly you might want to make things better.  Everyone has a unique way of helping.  Some offer childcare while others clean.  Many pray while a few might send cards or flowers.  I cook.  You won't find me making cookies or cinnamon rolls because I presently loathe baking.  What you will find is me standing in the middle of a chaotic kitchen as I crank out meals to fill my friend's freezer.  It's really a selfish thing to do on my behalf.  It helps me to feel less helpless... and it fills my freezer at the same time as I triple the recipes.

It can be difficult to find recipes that others will like as much as you do.  Finding something that freezes well can be another challenge.  Below, I've listed some of the dishes I like to make in these situations.  I hope that these will help you comfort yourself and others.
*Helpful hints:

• Be sure to check for food allergies and make the necessary adjustments to the recipes listed below.
• Using disposable bake ware makes this so easy.  Don't burden your friend with the need to return Tupperware or dishes.
• Label all food with the date, your name, serving instructions and ingredients.  It's kind of fun to make a small recipe book to give along with your kitchen creations.  
• Be sure to tell the person preparing the food that everything has plastic wrap on it and that it must be removed prior to cooking/ reheating.
• Consider attaching motivational quotes or Bible verses to brighten your friend's day.
• If it's too overwhelming to make all of this at once, do it over the course of a week and deliver at the end of the week.
• Always cool your food prior to freezing
• Buy in bulk!  Consider Costco or Winco foods and look for specials and coupons
• This is a great thing to do with neighbors.  If you were to gather 5 neighbors and have each neighbor make 5 of one dish and then swap, you would have 5 night's worth of meals that you didn't have to cook.
• If your friend is sick to his or her stomach or on chemo, check for food aversions.  If your friend is breastfeeding, be sure not to make anything too spicy and avoid tomato based dishes.  It's a good idea to run your menu past the family prior to grocery shopping.
• Do this out of love.  Do not expect anything in return

Chicken & Wild Rice Casserole (From the kitchen of Judy Grinnell)

Ingredients:

• 1 package wild rice mix prepared as directed
• *2 boxes and 6 chicken breasts may be substituted for larger groups
• 1 Cup Chopped Celery
• 1 Medium Onion, Chopped
• 1 Cup Sliced Water Chestnuts
• 3/4 Cup Mayonnaise
• 4 Chicken breasts, baked and diced
• 2 Cups Cream of Chicken Soup
• Sour Cream & Onion Potato Chips (Crushed) about 2 cups

Instructions:  Mix all ingredients and place into a 9x13 inch sprayed baking dish.  Cover with crushed potato chips.  Cover with plastic wrap and foil.  Freeze.

To Serve:  Thaw casserole and bake one hour at 350 degrees.

Chicken Soup from real broth

Ingredients:

• Prepared Rotisserie chicken from Costco or similar store (Have this for dinner and save the carcass)
• 3-4 stalks of celery, sliced
• 3-4 carrots, peeled and sliced
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 1/2 lbs chicken pieces from the rotisserie chicken, cubed
• salt and pepper to taste
• 2-3 bay leaves (do not multiply when doubling the recipe)
• Large package of egg noodles
• Fresh parsley
• Homemade broth (6-8 cups depending on preference)

Instructions:  Remove chicken from carcass and place into a large stock pot.  Cover the carcass with water so that the water level is about 1.5-2 inches above the carcass.  Bring to a boil and simmer for about and hour.  Remove the carcass and strain the broth to remove any sediment.  Allow to settle and skim the top to remove fat.   Return broth to the stock pot and add all ingredients except the noodles.  Simmer for 1 hour.  Add noodles and cook according to the instructions on the package.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.  Remove bay leaves before freezing or serving.

Baked Ziti
1 lb dry ziti pasta
1 onion, chopped
1 lb ground beef
2 (26 oz) jars spaghetti sauce
6 oz provolone cheese, sliced
1.5 cups sour cream
6 oz mozzarella cheese, shredded
2 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese

Instructions:

1. Lightly salt a pot of water and bring to a boil. Add pasta and cook until al dente (usually about 8 minutes).  Drain and set aside.
2. Brown onion and ground beef in a large skillet over medium heat.  Add spaghetti sauce and simmer for 15 minutes.
3. Grease a 9x13 baking dish.  Layer in the following order:
4. 1/2 of ziti, provolone, sour cream, 1/2 sauce mix, remaining ziti, mozzarella and remaining sauce.  Top with parmesan cheese.
5. Cover with plastic wrap and foil and freeze after cooling.

Serving:  Allow pasta to thaw and bake 30 minutes at 350.  Serve with a green salad, garlic bread and a nice cabernet or chianti.


Stuffed Bell Peppers (great for crock pot)
Ingredients:
1 lb ground beef
1 onion, chopped
1 package Spanish rice, prepared as directed
2 cans tomato sauce
4-6 peppers, red and orange make for a sweeter pepper

Instructions:  Combine cooked rice with hamburger, onion and 1 can of tomato sauce.  Slice the tops off of the peppers and remove seeds.  Stuff peppers with hamburger mixture and (if freezing), wrap individually in foil.  Place all peppers into a large ziplock baggy and freeze upright.

Serving:  Place unwrapped peppers in crock pot and cover with 1 can of tomato sauce.  Cook on low for 8 hours.

Roast Chicken and stuffing
Roast Chicken
Ingredients:

• 1 fryer chicken, insides removed
• 1 lemon (Quartered)
• 1 bulb of garlic(Cut the pointed end off)
• 1 onion (quartered, no need to remove skins)
• Rosemary if desired
• Kosher or sea salt 
• Pepper
• Paprika
• Olive Oil

Instructions:  Wash and pat dry the bird.  Lightly salt and pepper the inside.   Stuff lemon, garlic (no need to remove the skins), onion and a few sprigs of rosemary into the cavity of the bird.  Lightly baste the bird in olive oil and rub with kosher salt, pepper and paprika.  Place the bird into a ziplock bag and freeze.

To serve:  Thaw and cook in the oven at 425 degrees for 1-2 hours.  Check with a meat thermometer to insure it is cooked through.  If desired, reserve juices and add small amounts of flour while whisking constantly to make gravy.

Stuffing:  (Sausage, apple and cranberry)
Ingredients:
10 cups Sourdough bread cubes (boxed or stale)
1.5 lbs bulk sausage
2 Tablespoons Butter
2 cups diced onions
2 cups diced celery
Sea salt and course ground pepper
2 golden delicious apples
1 Cup toasted walnuts *CHECK FOR NUT ALLERGIES and leave out if needed
1/4 cup chopped fresh sage
2 TB fresh chopped rosemary
1 TB fresh thyme
1 Cup chopped fresh parsley
2 eggs
2 Cups chicken stock
1/2 cup melted butter

Instructions:  Place bread cubes into a very large bowl and set aside

• Heat a medium skillet and stir in sausage.  Cook until it crumbles and is no longer pink
• Drain and add to cubed bread
• Melt 2 tablespoons butter in the same skillet and saute onion and celery until onion in translucent (about 5 minutes).  Season with salt and pepper.
• Add to bread crumbs and stir in apples, cranberries, nuts, spices and herbs.
• Whisk chicken broth with eggs and pour over the bread mixture along with 1/2 cup melted butter.
• Stir until absorbed and pack into a 9x13 greased baking dish.  Cover with plastic wrap and foil.  Freeze.

Serving:  Thaw and bake 30 minutes at 350 degrees.  Remove foil, stir and continue to bake until browned.

Teachers, comparing apples to lemons

It happens every summer. Parents wait anxiously to hear which teacher their children will be spending the year with. Through the underground network, there are known A+ teachers and others that are well... lemons. It might be your unlucky year that you end up making lemonade, praying that the year will go quickly and smoothly. Unfortunately, these years often end up as what I like to call "marinating years." Your child might not regress but he or she just doesn't progress the way you had hoped and ends up playing catch up the next year. Thanks to our broken educational system, these teachers are protected and even rewarded with tenure.

I have heard some arguments that seem to justify these lemonade years.

"My Principal will not appreciate being told that I don't want this teacher."

"My child will learn to deal with difficult people from this. Every year can't be a winner!"

"If everyone requested a teacher, it wouldn't be fair because not everyone's desires could possibly be met. "

While some of these responses are a positive take on an otherwise negative experience, sometimes they're just not true. No, a Principal won't like being told that you don't want a particular teacher. What the Principal likely wants to hear about is the environment that your child will succeed in. After all, who knows a child better than his or her parent? Do not approach the Principal with negative comments about the "lemon" of the grade. Approach her with positive and glowing remarks about the teacher of choice. Point out specific attributes about that teacher that are a strong match for your child's learning style. This will be far better than approaching the Principal mid-year as you explain why your child needs to be pulled from a particular class.

• Observe all teachers for the grade your child will be entering. Watch for classroom organization, modifications to teach to the individual learning styles, feel and layout of the classroom, discipline styles, workload, attitude and the teacher's willingness to allow parents into the classroom.
• Be sure to send handwritten thank you notes to all of the teachers you observe
• Ask parents about their experiences. This will tell you a lot.
• Be involved. You will get a good feeling for the attitudes and personalities of the instructors if you spend more time with them.

"My child will learn to deal with difficult people from this. Every year can't be a winner!"

Your child will learn to deal with difficult people anyway. I promise that your child will find another peer, specialist or staff member that isn't a match made in heaven. Why make your child's classroom the source of conflict and angst for an entire year? Think about it this way. If you were to take your car in for an oil change and the staff was rude to you, refused to listen to you and left the drain plug out, would you return? NO! Whether you want to admit it or not, we all pay for public education through our tax dollars. So why in the world would you take your children, your most valuable asset, and not demand the same care and attention that your automobile might receive? It's ludicrous! What school year are you willing to throw away? Is second grade not an important year? Is it okay for your child to just slide by? NO again!

"If everyone requested a teacher, it wouldn't be fair because not everyone can have their way. "

Guess what? The majority of parents don't request teachers. From personal experience, I can tell you that most parents aren't involved. I've heard parental involvement referred to as the "STP". The Same Ten People that do everything. Some schools are lucky if there are 10 parents! Not everyone is asking for a specific teacher. Remember that you're requesting something and not demanding it. No, this scenario wouldn't be fair if everyone was asking and it's certainly not fair that lemons are protected by a teacher's union. We're not dealing with a fair world so do not fall victim to this excuse.

My son attended a school that had an impossible Principal. When a parent would request a teacher, this Principal would make sure the student was not placed in the desired class. In fact, he went so far as to place the student in the class parents wanted least. This can happen but it is rare. At that point, go to your school board and present your case. Most parents don't even know where the district office is, let alone do they know the Superintendent's name. You'll likely make large strides if you have to pursue this route.

There will be years that, despite your best efforts, you will end up with a lemon. The best teacher for one child might be the worst for your child. You may not have any other options. If you find yourself in that situation, here are some important things to remember:

• Do not criticize the teacher in front of your child. This will only make your child more miserable and teach him to disrespect authority figures. Your attitude will definitely show on the face of your child.
• Keep communication open. Volunteer as much as you can at the school or in the classroom. Keep up on what your child is learning so you can supplement and enrich these subjects at home. It is your responsibility to teach your child, not the school's.
• Examine the issue closer. Is it you as a parent that has a problem with this teacher or is it your child? A "mean" teacher might really be a teacher that is strict and has high standards. This "meanie" might be your child's best teacher. If your child is doing well and seems to be happy, grit your teeth and keep chugging along.
  
• If it gets bad enough, call a meeting with the teacher. If that doesn't work, include the Principal or other district administrators.
• Consider a different school, even if it's just for a year. If your district allows waivers, check out your options. Private schools might have openings as well. The cost might overwhelm you but if it's just for part of a year, it might be worth the sacrifice. If you're patient enough and have the discipline, consider homeschooling for the remainder of the year.

Although rewarding, parenting is a tough job. The strong Republican in me used to cringe when I'd hear Hillary Clinton explain that, "it takes a village to raise a child." I used to scoff at that remark and roll my eyes. As my children got older, I ate my own words and realized that it really does take a village. I like to refer to it as a tribe. My tribe is led by God. He has put very special people in my family's lives to help us raise His children. It's my job to make sure I seek out those people and make them part of our tribe. Good luck fellow warriors!

The do's and don'ts when working with a recruiter

If you read my most recent blog post, you have come to realize that working with recruiters can be a little more complicated than it might first appear. Here are some do's and don'ts when working with a recruiter:

DO

1. Put your best foot forward. This recruiter is screening you to see if you are the best fit for their client. They are interviewing you.

2. Call for interview prep if needed. This recruiter wants you to do well so they can make a placement and get paid. They will have the buzz words that the employer is wanting.

3. Be punctual and professional. While the recruiter might have hidden motives, they are the gatekeeper to your possible future employer.

4. Ask how they got your name. If they can't be specific keep your guard up.

5. Work with multiple recruiters if you are in an active job search. Multiple recruiters will represent multiple clients. Keep track of your recruiters and the interviews you go on. More than once I've had recruiters fight over who should get credit for the hire. The recruiter that gets you the interview is the recruiter that should get credit.

6. If you feel that the interviewer has objections or apprehensions, bring these up to the recruiter so he or she can work through them.

7. Follow up and be enthusiastic. If this recruiter likes you and sees your true value, he or she will be excited to place you with other opportunities that come along.

8. Express apprehensions with your recruiter. If you see red flags, tell the recruiter so he might investigate and better qualify what's really going on. If you're not interested, tell the recruiter so you don't waste anyone's time.

9. Define the roles, responsibility and pay with your recruiter before moving forward.

Don'ts

1. Do not tell the recruiter the specific names of other companies you are interviewing with. This will only mean competition for you. If your recruiter learns of another hiring company, he or she will likely contact that company and try to find candidates for the open position.

2. Don't reveal all your cards. After the interview, you might present one or two generic questions that the hiring manager asked you but not all of them.

3. Don't rely on the recruiter to communicate with your hiring manager. Be sure to get the card of each person you interview with so you can facilitate your own communication without relying on the recruiter for everything.

4. Don't give just anyone your resume. It has important, personal information about you. The more people that know you're looking, the greater chance your current job will be jeopardized. Make sure that you indicate several times that it is NOT okay to contact your current employer for a background check!

5. Do not give references to your recruiter. Give them directly to the hiring manager. You could be handing your recruiter a list of potential candidates to call through.

6. Do not try to facilitate the payment arrangements between your hiring manager and your recruiter. This has happened and it's a red flag that your recruiter is unprofessional and likely a jerk. It happens!

7. Don't call a million times a day. If you're waiting to hear some feedback, once or twice during the week is acceptable.

8. Do not go behind the recruiter's back to the hiring company. Once the recruiter tells you the name of the company, it is not okay for you to pursue it on your own or tell another recruiter about the opportunity. However, if you tell the recruiter that you're interested and that you want an interview, it's fair game. If another recruiter contacts you with the same opportunity you might tell them that you're working on that with another recruiter but you'll keep him updated. If the original recruiter hasn't lined up an interview after repeated requests, tell the second recruiter you'd like to pursue the opportunity. Not only will this make the recruiter mad and possibly get you blacklisted from all recruiters, it puts the hiring manager in a tough spot when determining who to credit. Sometimes, a hiring manager will decide to go with another candidate rather than deal with the hassle of fighting the recruiter.

What recruiters don't tell you

I love learning about careers. I love helping someone figure out what he wants to do in life, put together a resume and then prepare for the interviews. I'm one of the strange ones that enjoys going on an interview... although I haven't officially been on one in ages. As you might suspect, I thought these interests would lend well to a career in recruiting. For a few short weeks of my life, I sat behind a desk calling random people telling them about "great" opportunities. I would leave my overzealous messages and wait for the return phone calls. Why did I do this for such a short time you ask? I suck at lying and I hate it. My boss told me that I just didn't like being on the phone... well, if you ask my parents, you couldn't pry the phone from my hands when I was growing up. If you ask AT&T, they would likely tell you I'm one of their best customers. I loved being on the phone. What I didn't like was lying to every single person I talked to during my short recruiting stint. Getting fired from that job was a dream come true... I just didn't know it yet.

Recruiting firms are working for the hiring client, not you. I must note that there are exceptions to this rule. Some recruiters will look for jobs specifically for you if either (a) you're a fantastic candidate with a rock solid resume or (b) you agree to pay a lofty sum of money. In either scenario, you're probably better off looking for a job yourself.

Here's how it works. Lets use the Acme corporation for an example. The recruiter, let's call him Carl, calls through a bunch of companies promising to find great candidates and at least one that the company will want to hire. Of course this service doesn't come for free. If Acme agrees to hire one of these candidates, thousands of dollars will be owed to the recruiting company. So, Acme agrees to these terms in writing and the search begins. Recruiter Carl sets out to find the star employee by posting on the Internet, looking through linkedin.com, networking, etc. Here's the part you might not know. The best employees are usually already working. Carl knows this so he calls companies that produce the best type of candidates for Acme company. He targets companies that train their employees well and have rigorous interview and hiring policies. He seeks companies with a proven track record of success that only hire the best. Here's how the conversation might go:

"Hello, thank you for calling XYZ company. How may I direct your call?" Receptionist.

"Oh, I'm hoping you can help me. This is John and I recently went to a luncheon where I met one of your employees. I was really hoping to connect with her but I can't remember her name. It's right on the tip of my tongue. I know I'd remember it if I heard it," Carl.

Carl waits for the receptionist to start rattling off names. Carl writes these names down and keeps searching. He knows that Acme likes to hire young, attractive men and women that are recent college grads with a few years experience tucked under their belts. He continues but this time, he gets more specific.

"No, I don't think that was her name. She was younger, probably about 24 or 25. Tall, blond, very sharp," Carl.

"Oh, you must mean Cindy. Let me put you through," Receptionist.

"Thank you. What is her extension if I get disconnected?"

Cindy isn't in the office so her voicemail picks up.

"Hello Cindy! My name is Carl and an anonymous source told me that you'd be great for a fantastic job opportunity I have. My client is a fortune 500 company that doubled their profits in the past year. They're one of Fortune Magazine's top 100 companies to work for they're offering a very attractive package with realistic first year earnings of at least $100,000. If you could please call me back at your earliest convenience I'd really appreciate it. Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you soon," he hangs up and records Cindy's name in a log indicating what company she works for and the date he contacted her. Then he waits for her to return the call.

Carl has never met Cindy. Never seen her and likely never will. He has no idea what her qualifications are, if she's happy in her present job or if she would be a good fit for Acme. What he really cares about it placing Cindy at Acme and getting paid for the placement. Heck, he'd be better off if Cindy didn't work out and Acme came running to him to replace her with another candidate. Carl continues this method of searching for at least another few hundred calls before he eventually does find a couple candidates to interview and hopefully a hire. Since he has Cindy's extension, he can call through other extensions that are close in number to hers where he can offer up the same word track as before. His dream would be to get a dial-by-name directory of all the people in her department. After all, most people don't tell their co-workers about recruiter calls and opportunities. You'd be surprised how many times I arrived at an interview only to see a co-worker waiting in the lobby to interview after me. Recruiters love to throw a bunch of candidates from one company to see if one will stick.

Cindy does call Carl back and Carl starts seeing dollar signs as he realizes that Cindy is exactly what the company is looking for. He arranges an interview but tells Cindy that she must call him before and after the interview for prep and follow-up. Carl knows what the client is looking for and knows what buzz words to give Cindy in order for her to shine in the interview. These may or may not be words that Cindy would normally use and this might be a company that will be a great fit or maybe not. What matters is that Cindy is sold on the job and pumped up so that she can go sell herself in the interview. Carl takes special time to make sure that Cindy creates phrases to use that incorporate these buzz words and qualities and he teaches her things to avoid. Perhaps he got these avoidance topics directly from Acme when he asked about things that made other employees not work out in the past. Cindy goes on her interview and excitedly calls Carl afterwards.

"Hi Carl, the interview went great! I think they really like me. They want me to come back next week and meet the rest of their team," Cindy.

"That's great Cindy. When is that interview scheduled for? What questions did they ask you?"

Carl sits and writes down ever single question that Cindy can recall. He takes careful notes about the details of the interview so that he can properly prepare and educate his next candidate. These details aren't necessarily to help Cindy but to help Carl place a candidate if Cindy doesn't work out.

Carl talks to the hiring manager at Acme and learns that they really like Cindy but they have another candidate with more experience. They will continue to interview Cindy but they do have someone else waiting in the wings. Carl decides not to tell Cindy about this because he wants her to remain excited and energized about the prospect just in case the other candidate doesn't work out or decides not to accept the job. In fact, when Acme begins to stall with Cindy as they await an acceptance from candidate B, Carl makes excuses for the hiring manager, telling Cindy that he is out of town and not to worry about not getting a call back yet.

Meanwhile, Cindy has been distracted from her job that she was otherwise happy with and she has started to question if there's something better. Her productivity starts to slide as she works with recruiters and starts to interview. She may or may not find something that makes her happier. The more likely scenario is that her boss finds out that she's looking and she jeopardizes her existing job. Unfortunately, I know this from personal experience.

There are good recruiters out there that genuinely want the best for you. I would argue that this is the exception and not the rule.

Another tactic that recruiters often use is to post a job opportunity that doesn't really exist. Recruiters love to build up their "resume bank" to have great candidates waiting for prospective hiring managers. A bait and switch technique, many candidates will call about a posting, send in their resume and then be told that the job was filled. If the recruiter has another, less sexy client, he will often try to pass off this "new opportunity" to the candidate. Sometimes the recruiter won't even call the candidate back. Why would he when he has a resume to file and follow up on for the next hot opportunity that comes by?

Stay tuned for the do's and don't when working with a recruiter.

Get it write!

If you're like me and have an "s" in your name, you might still be reeling from learning to write. I remember how frustrated my mom would get when I'd continue to write my S's backwards. Luckily, my daughter doesn't have an "s" in her name but she's still struggling to control her pencil the right way. I went in search of tools to help her learn and here are some helpful hints.

• http://desktoppub.about.com/od/lessonplans/ig/Free-Print---Cursive-Fonts/Penmanship-Print.htm This website allows you to download a free font that places numbers on those hat, belt and shoe lines that you hear your kids talk about.
• http://www.otideas.com/Items/PencilGrips.htm Pencil grippers can help your child learn to hold a pencil properly. This site has some for purchase... shop around as these seem a little pricey
• Use short and fat pencils. Think about the size of your adult hand in relation to your pens and pencils. Now consider how small a child's hand is. You can purchase these pencils at your local Children's bookshop.
• Make it fun! Consider using a white board and markers. Mix it up on paper by using markers, crayons, glitter and glue or sidewalk chalk on a sunny day